I’ve always been an independent person. When I was younger, I was never one to fit in with the group- something I resented then, but understand now. I frequently had my foot in several different groups and changed my aesthetic frequently. I was much more content reading at a coffee shop than I was attending the homecoming pep rally. However, I realized this independence was leading to isolation.
I’d become so comfortable in my solitude that I really didn’t have ties anywhere. There wasn’t a city I could call mine, or a group of friends I could call on a random weekday to grab dinner. I decided to start inviting some things into my life and thought some of you might relate:
Instead of looking for a way out or for “what’s next,” I found an apartment and decided to call a city home. I realized what I was lacking was a foundation. I will never be 100% content somewhere because I plan to travel- lots. Knowing that I will travel once the world opens up again makes choosing a base much easier on my nomadic heart . Making the choice took a burden off me I didn’t realize I was carrying. Maybe the idea of permanence scares you too. I urge you to find a community you love for the time being and give it a shot.
I was really bad at reaching out to people when I was younger because I didn’t need the social interactions that some people do. However, I’ve recently found people with similar interests to mine and these conversations energize me rather than drain me. I also have close friends that live states away from me. I realized I need to reach out more and keep these connections strong because they are some of the few that know most of my story. Find the people in your life who inspire you and don’t be afraid to reach out. Most people appreciate the gesture.
I used to write these posts for myself and myself only. As soon as I started sharing them with others, my mind became so much clearer. I found other people who conquered battles with anxiety as I have. As an enneagram 4, I liked to think my situation was unique. Truth is- we all have stories to tell, just different chapters. I encourage you to open up and see who sticks around to listen. Those are your true supporters.
I became stronger mentally in the past year than ever, but I also invited more people in than ever before. I like to think there is a correlation. I’m no longer fearful of people seeing my mind because I’m really proud of who I am- you should be too. Stay authentic and your independence will grow parallel to your social circle.