When Marriage Isn’t Your First Priority

I have never been the girl who dreamed about her future husband, or fantasized about a wedding in the vineyards. It was never a priority to me and my focus remained elsewhere.

When I moved to Mississippi, relationships became a lot more prominent and everyone around me seemed to be focused on marriage. Lately, this has become especially true. I graduated from college two years ago and a majority of the people I went to high school with are engaged or married. Honestly, this still didn’t bother me. I am ecstatic for them, but still never saw myself in that picture.

However, recently, for the first time, I felt the weight of my singleness. This is going to seem like a simple scenario, but for me it was the world falling apart (I can be a little dramatic). I started my morning with a dead car battery and that led to a series of stressful moments. It was in this moment I wished I a partner to lean on- a fiance or a husband to grab the keys and say,”I’ve got this.”

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Ultimately, I got the battery changed just fine and carried on with my day, but that feeling resonated with me. Everyone around me seemed to have a backup plan. A husband’s car they could use or even family close by to figure out the problem.

It lowered my spirits for a little while, but then I remembered- I am perfectly fine without an engagement ring on my finger. In fact, it’s not something I want for a long time. Sometimes the pressure of those around us can start to trick us into becoming something we’re not. Whether this is finding a husband, having the “perfect job,” or even wearing the right clothes. It is okay to be different and go against societal norms if that sparks your joy.

Don’t let the engagement photos filling your Instagram feed make you feel of any less value. Post a picture of you and your dog or your favorite adventure instead. Post your version of fulfillment.

So, to anyone out there feeling the pressure to date or bring the perfect companion to your next family gathering- stop. Live your life with intention and everything else will fall into place. My biggest blessings have always come when I let go of control and let the pressures of society roll off my back. Find joy in becoming a bridesmaid and relish in the fact that your time will come- if you want it to. Leave the chapel in the vineyards to those who dream of it and enjoy your own path to happiness.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” -Oscar Wilde

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